Went to Dr on Monday and had full blood tests. Neck flared up and energy levels plummeted Monday night and I got almost zero sleep because of the pain. Tuesday I managed to get out of bed by supporting my neck with my hands, gritting my teeth and crying.

I then spent most of Tuesday praying that either the physio or the chiro I’d called would have an appointment come available. They didn’t.

Last night wasn’t quite so bad as Monday but I was still hanging out for the chiro to fix my neck.

The chiro told me that he thought the torticollis was caused by an infection as the glands in my neck are swollen. That would also explain my lethargy. I’m wasn’t convinced.

He gave me an excellent neck and back massage and then adjusted my upper back and neck although the most sore spot refused to budge.

He told me to gargle aspirin and ice my neck. I forgot to buy aspirin but I’m icing my neck now.

My throat is starting to hurt now, and ive got a bit of a cough. I can feel the glands are getting hot and swollen so perhaps he’s correct.

Sunday 18/10/09
Lucky if I got 3hrs sleep last night between a late phone call, the rain and extraordinarily painful neck. In the end I took some painkillers at 3am and woke when the alarm went off at 4am.

Up, dressed, packed and on the train to Dapto by 5am where a friend (Bike boy) picked me up and took me to his place for pre-run toast and then chaffeured me to Mt Kembla for the Orchard Run.

My first Kembla Joggers Mountain series run and I was a little nervous. We were early so drove a bit of the course before the others arrived.

Pipi gave us a pre run briefing – 10k out and back then back out to a dog leg up a hill that bike boy reckoned was near impossible to ride a mountain bike up and back to the start again. Then, with a 1, 2, 3 go, we were off. A very small field with Bethany and myself the only females. I knew I’d be last (I hate that!) but concentrated on not letting too massive a gap open between myself and the man in front of me (ah, vanity!)

The first 10k were rolling hills out and back, starting with a long uphill so finishing with a nice long downhill. A bit of vanity fartlek as the others passed me on their way back meant i ran strongly on a long, slight incline to the turnaround and gained a bit on the guy in front, who was about 500m ahead at the turnaround.

Mysteriously there were more uphill sections on the way back than I remember downhills on the way out. Hmmmm how does that work?

Powered down the downhill to the start and headed back up the hill to the dogleg. I was averaging 7.08/km till heading back out. Stumbled over the gate and up the nastiest mother of a hill I’ve seen since Bhutan. Pace slowed to 13min/km and I felt like I was crawling! Calves and lungs burning as I slowly walked up.

Bethany and the others gave me encouragement as they headed off to finish and eventually I spotted the guy ahead of me as he came towards me on his way back. He surprised me by saying “you’ve gained on me! Not far now…just around the corner”. I picked up the pace till I saw what was just around the corner…the flags, yes but also a nasty kick in the incline.

Focussed on the flags and powered up (ahem) and then yeay the turnaround and yikes! How the hell do I run down that?

Practising my downhill form I nearly tripped on a stick and freaked myself out. Picked my way fairly gingerly to where the decline was more forgiving and tried again. My legs weren’t able to keep up the turnover speed and I nearly tripped again so resolved to the ungainly and torturous braking style I’d long abandoned.

Safely on the road again I opened up and ran with that wonderful effortless feeling of a nice downhill run. Felt like I was flying. Looking at the Garmin, I wasn’t! But it felt like I was.

I had the total distance as 12.49km so it was either short or my Garmin was packing a sad. Average pace 8.03/km. 1 hr 40mins on my feet.

Good fun

Saturday 17/10/09
Bethany, tim and Mark ran past my driveway at about 6.30am, where I joined them in a run to the Kiama Blowhole/ lighthouse where we propose to start the Blowhard Fatass.

We then ran the proposed course together to the top of the hill past Kendalls Beach where I gave them some quick instructions and had a walk break. Their pace was a little fast for me to continue running at so I waved them on.

Because of the nature of the winding coastline I could see them ahead and I really enjoyed watching them discovering the route, the way I had some months ago.

At one point I lost sight of them and then spotted Bethany picking her way along the rocks below. Knowing they had lost the track I called and waved and ran back to a spot where Bethany and tim could scramble back up the cliff. Mark was way ahead at the start of the new Kiama Coast Track in Loves Bay. I pointed out the track for the way back.

The others trotted off again and I took another walk break up the hill.

I kept running till I’d been running 6 k. I was halfway through my water at this stage and regretting only bringing 2 fuelbelt bottles. I turned around and trotted slowly back.

Had a chat to some cows on the way, and enjoyed the scenery. Filled up my bottles at a tap before Kendalls Beach and stretched while waithing for the others. I had seen them heading back so knew they weren’t far away.

We ran together to the lifesavers club where I cut the corner and met them on the other side. My legs were feeling that break to wait for them and fatigue was setting in.

Mark and I cut off the lighthouse corner and walked for a while to allow the others to catch us. I suggested we walk Pheasant pt rd as it’s hillier than the direct route.

No sooner than we got onto pheasant pt rd, I noticed someone lying on their side in the bushes. There was a fence between us and the person so I called out “are you ok?”. By now we could see breathing, thank God! A walker scaled the fence and woke sleeping beauty.

A hard night I guess. She refused all offers of help, seemed coherant and insisted she was ok so we ran on. I was really torn as part of me thought we should call the police. Ah well. She was conscious and coherant and adamant she was ok.

By now Tim and Bethany were ahead but they saw us and stopped. I said bye and crossed the road home. How cool is that?

I ran 1.37 @ 9.03/ km average. First ever blister…yes, that’s correct, first blister. I never get them running. Well, I did today.

Running tomorrow with the Kembla Joggers Orchard Run (14km) which will be interesting! My glutes were feeling those big hills I walked yesterday so heavens knows what they’ll be like tomorrow! Looking forward to it though. Finally, slowly getting my running mojo back.

I’ve installed the wordpress app for iPhone so just thought I’d test it… Hello… Testing 1, 2, 3

Thursday 15/10/09
I was mindful of my sensitive emotional state and low energy levels and decided to sleep in till 6 rather than get up at 5 to run.  I realised that this would probably mean I wouldn’t run that day but I decided that was ok.

Walked 3.5km

Friday 16/10/09
Lying in bed debating with myself about whether to have another lie in (where is my motivation these days??)  I read an email from a friend that gave me a much-needed kick up the bum.  My response “I’ve got to stop feeling sorry for myself and beating myself up about what I’m not doing and do what I can.  I’m trying hard to be nice to myself but firm also and sometimes it’s hard to find a balance”.

Walked the three amigos which is what I’ve decided to call the big three hills in Kiama; Hothersal St, Minemurra St and Collins St (including the stairs on the other side of Collins).  There is a fourth hill, Bland St but I didn’t have time for him today. 

Bike commute home from Station.

As Rodney Speedboat says “I need to take a couple of teaspoons of concrete and harden the f*ck up”.  My motivation is returning but my energy levels and willpower whilst running are still a problem.  Anyway, here’s the latest:

Monday 12/10/09
Had a few hours of time in lieu and a big dose of “can’t be arsed” so left work early and ran to Nowra Private Hospital to visit Bullet after his elbow surgery.  Got a bit lost due to lack of street signs (what is it with Australian lack of signage???) so ended up running around East Nowra which isn’t the most pleasant place to run.  I was glad it wasn’t dark as I felt distinctly unsafe with people staring at me.  I guess they don’t get many runners there…

…anyway 22.32 to get to the hospital, including walk breaks to consult my iPhone when I got lost and a walk up a slight gradient.  Pace was 6.46/km average including the walk breaks. 

After getting my shot of positivity from Bullet and hearing all about how great his surgeon is I reluctantly began the run to the train station for my trip home. 

Ended up turning it into an impromtu fartlek session as I kept needing to take walk breaks.  Initially I walked the uphill sections only but then I found myself walking sections of the flat as well.  My legs felt fatigued and energy levels very low and it was a constant mental battle to keep running.  Luckily I had a train to catch otherwise I would have been tempted to walk the whole way!  35.45mins walk/running @ 6.42/km.

Interestingly my running pace was faster than usual.  I tried to slow down thinking that would enable me to keep running rather than have to take walk breaks, however I found that slowing down felt boring so I chose to keep running faster and taking walk recoveries.

Tuesday 13/10/09
Bike commute.  Stuggled to get out of bed and as a result aborted morning run.  Intended to run in the evening after getting home, however I suffered all day with extraordinarily poor energy levels so didn’t run. 

Wednesday 14/10/09
Somewhat more successful getting out of bed this morning.  It was dark at 5am…who would have thunk it?  Slow to get out the door so planned 75min run became a 51 min run with walk breaks towards the end.  Average pace 7.09/km including walk breaks.

My colleague expressed concern about how “flat” I’ve been lately which I am taking seriously.  I’ve got a doctor’s appointment on Monday (I’ve been waiting for 3 weeks for this appointment…yeay for lack of GPs!) and will discuss this with the doc.  I’ve also started taking B complex and iron again in case it’s nutritional problems.

I scored highly on a depression self-assessment tool and have been noticing possible signs of depression in myself for about a month now.  I’m aware that there could well be physical reasons for this (hence the GP visit) but I’m not dismissing the possibility of a mild reactive depression (after all, it’s been a helluva year and I do have a family history of mood disorder). 

Part of me thinks I’m being a big drama queen and should just build a bridge and get over it and part of me says “high expections, critical of self, comparing oneself to others, low energy, low motivation, loss of interest in things I usually enjoy, crying randomly, feeling sad…all sounds like depression to me”.  It’s so hard to be objective about oneself.

Long time between posts so relying on the Garmin to fill the gaps

Friday 2/10/09

22mins run in the morning @6.43/km average pace

In the afternoon I ran to Bomo from Nowra as I didn’t do it Thursday due to  work commitments.  20.32 mins @ 6.20/km average pace with a backpack on.  I was knackered!  I think I went so fast because I was worried that I’d miss my train and end up at Bomaderry for another hour

Saturday 3/10/09

Inaugural South Coast Runners run at Windang.  Forgot the Garmin so relied on Sara for the stats.  12km in 1hr 17mins.  Very flat run but faster than my usual weekend long run pace and with two runs in my legs the day before I really felt it!

Sunday 4/10/09 rested

Monday 5/10/09

Walked the course of the proposed “Blowhard or Blow Home” Fatass with a stop for lunch in Gerringong.  The run will be 24km (or 25km if we decide to add in the “big” blowhole too).  With the additional walk to Kiama SLSC  from my house, and then up into Gerringong return, I walked about 28km.  The walk out was slower (12.03/km average pace compared to 11.50/km) probably because it was so hot on the way out and thunderstorms on the way back.  I think we walked faster to get out of the rain!

Tuesday 6/10/09

Bike commute

Wednesday 7/10/09

66mins @ 7.32/km average pace.  Can’t remember where I ran now but judging by the pace it was hilly.

Thursday 8/10/09

In Wollongong and Sydney for work.  Started early and finished late so no activity today.

Friday 9/10/09

30mins @6.21/km average.  Ran from Annandale (where I was staying) to Jubliee Park return.  Couldn’t run very long as I had to get to work and also mindful of the following days race.  I found the run incredibly hard.  I wanted to stop and walk and it was a really battle of will and determination to keep running.  This didn’t leave me feeling very hopeful for the next day.

Saturday 10/10/09

Fitzroy Falls 10km.  Thanks to our designated driver, the very lovely Natalie “GoGirl”, Sara and I were able to get to Twin Falls Cottages in plenty of time for the start of the marathon.  It was very cool…ok it was cold!  There were also periodic drizzly showers so it was pretty cold standing around.  We saw Sara and her pacer, Flying Emu Mark off and then stood around drinking tea to warm up.

I almost missed the start due to a long toilet queue but it made a good little warmup run to the car to take off the warm clothes and run to the start in time.

I felt ok running down to the turn off and could see Plodbod not far in front.  I kept her in my sights thinking I’d be lucky to be able to do that for the whole 10km but I’d give it a red hot go. 

I caught her and then found that the pace was a little slow for me as it was still downhill and I wanted to open up a bit so I ducked ahead thinking she’d catch me later.  Ran past Fred who asked after Plod and I kept going.  I could see two coolrunners I didn’t know in front of me so decided to use them as my pacers.  I made the most of the downhills, ran through the creek (I was to regret that later as I didn’t have dry socks to change into afterwards) and kept the pace on the flat.  The uphills I ran or walked depending on the gradient and whether I felt I’d be faster walking. 

At the turnaround I was feeling pretty pleased with my effort.  I was running hard and could feel that my pace was challenging but one I could maintain for the distance. 

I overtook one of the coolrunners on the next uphill after introducing myself to him (Michael G).  Then concentrated on the next coolrunner.  I forget her name now but we’d met at Stromlo.  I caught her on a downhill section as she was faster than me on the uphills.  I then concentrated on putting some distance between us so she didn’t catch me on the next uphill. 

I’d had a lady in a pink tshirt in my sights since she overtook me in the first k so she then became my next target.  She ran a steep uphill whereas I walked it fast.  This was a good strategy as I gained some distance and closed the gap somewhat.  I also have a recollection of overtaking someone while walking up this hill and inwardly cringing for them that they were being overtaken by a walker whilst they were running.  Ah well. 

Pink tshirt decided to run around the creek and I plowed through it, overtaking her and then put some distance between us.  Now the trail ahead was clear, 500m to go and no one to chase.  I turned the corner to that uphill section to the finish and waved to the RFS volunteer and cameraman there. 

Alternating between running and walking when my breathing got too ragged I looked at my Garmin and saw that I was 66mins.  My pb on this course was 67.21 so I put in a big effort and crossed the line.  Irish John was there to cheer me (thanks John!).  I chatted to Monas Lookalike at the finish and gratefully accepted a warm jacket from John till Nat arrived with my warm clothes. 

Nat and I then headed back down the course to cheer the marathoners.  

When Sara came into view we went ballistic!  How awesome to pull this marathon out of the hat the way she did AND far outrun her expectations!  We screamed DO IT, DO IT! And attempted to keep her in sight heading back up the hill.

At the finish line there were big hugs and lots of debriefing and laughs.  Awesome day.

I think because of the anxious anticipation waiting for Sara, my usual post-race cry didn’t come till much later when we were at the pub.  I really felt the lack of that “someone special” at the finish line but had squashed the feeling down till we were all sitting chatting in the pub.  A text message from a friend inadvertently triggered the sadness and up it bubbled.  It’s been a big year for me and a long two + years since my last race but…I’m back!!

By the way, I forgot to stop my Garmin at the finish (as usual) but I had my time as 1:07.33.  In 2006 I ran 1:07.21 with far more training and speedwork under my belt so pretty happy with that!

Two confessions -
I didn’t run home last night.  I was too hot and couldn’t be bothered.  I’m slack.

I had trouble getting out of bed this morning and so had to cut my run short this morning.  Ended up running the Spring Creek Wetlands and around the block, including a long hill and a short sharp hill.  3.42km in 22mins @ 6.43/km.  I made up for the shortness of the run with some increase in pace. 

I bought my gear to work so I can run to the train station from work.  I’m serviously tempted not to run but I also really really want to know how long the run commute takes and how far it is.  Still…it’s raining

A long time between posts so a lot of the detail I’ve forgotten.  Thank goodness for the Garmin! 

Wednesday 16/09/09
55mins @ 7.10/km 

Thursday 17/09/09
Bike commute to and from Bomaderry/Nowra.  No other exercise.

Friday 18/09/09
41.48mins @ 7.09/km
Bike commute to/from Bomaderry/Nowra

 Saturday 19/09/09
1hr @ 7.19/km

 Sunday 20/09/09
Cheersquad for Sydney Marathon Festival.  Very little exercise except a bit of walking and jumping up and down screaming.  My Garmin says 42.93km @ 4.46/km average.  I’d love to say it was me but I loaned Gretel to Bitethebullet. 

 Tuesday 22/09/09
35mins @ 7.02/km

Thursday 24/09/09
Bike commute to/from Bomo/Nowra

Plantpowered Coolrunners Vegan Running Retreat
Friday 25/09/09
evening – walk 3km carrying gear to hostel from carpark

Saturday 26/09/09
Am – 1hr 06mins @ 8.03/km from Garie Beach.  The scenery lovely, company great, air quality poor although luckily not as dusty as other parts of the state I’m sure. 

Pm – short barefoot run on the beach (about 700m) and even shorter dip in the freezing ocean. 
approx 1+hr walk (didn’t time it)

Sunday 27/09/09
2 x 2.5km reps barefoot on sand.  (37mins @ 7.18/km)
Walk 2km carrying gear to carpark

Monday 28/09/09
Yoga
short run to/from yoga and to train station

Tuesday 29/09/09
Skydive 14000ft
Walk 1hr  

 Owlday
Wednesday 30/09/09
Am 25.28mins @ 8.14/km barefoot on sand

Pm 27.24mins @ 6.49/km night run around Kiama.  Was I running faster because it was dark and scary? Because it was comfortably cool?   Because I was busting to go to the toilet?  Or because I had 3 pieces of birthday cake?

Thursday 01/10/09
Bike commute to Nowra from Bomo (local slang for Bomaderry).  Plan to leave my bike at work tonight and run to Bomo after work.  Tomorrow I’ll walk to Nowra and bike from Nowra to Bomo.  

Saturday the first ever run for the South Coast Run Club Awesome thinking Bethany.  Not sure how long I’ll be running as I’ll play it by ear.  

Sunday I’ll swim if the long run on Saturday was sufficient, if not I’ll run

Monday walking the coastal track.  That’s the plan anyway…

I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I was a snake, I’d think, no, actually I’m a giraffe.
  – Richard Gere

Someone asked me the other day, “so what else do you do besides running?”  I didn’t know how to answer that question.  I forgot that I’m also a yogini.  I also forgot that I love to ride my bike.

Last night I remembered both.  I  felt absolutely crap that afternoon.  I suspect it may have had something to do with the serving of hot chips I ate at lunch time.  On the ride from work to Bomaderry Station, I suddenly became mindful of the beauty around me; the water under the bridge, the breeze on my face.  I remembered riding to and from primary school on my bike and loving the sensation of whizzing around the corners and keeping up with the guys.  I felt truely happy to be riding instead of driving and looked forward to many more commutes by bike.  Strange but lovely.

I remembered I love yoga at the Ashtanga Yoga class in Berry that I’ve been going to for the past couple of months.  My legs and hips, particularly my glute medius and hammies were sore from yesterdays hill climb so I was expecting this class to be really hard.  It’s a tough class anyway but with sore, fatigued legs I was expecting it to be really really bad.

It wasn’t.  My legs were sore but they relaxed into the postures much better than usual.  I was able to do some postures in a way I never have before, including full forward bend with my front lying on my legs and nose to knee.  Great class.  I missed last week’s so I’m doing a catchup class this afternoon too.